Let’s talk about sex, baby. No, not the song—the actual act. With your wife.
Because let’s face it: if you’re here reading this, chances are your bedroom’s about as thrilling as a gloomy weekend in Bangalore. You talk about work, the kids, what to have for dinner, and whose turn it is to drop the kids to school. But sex? That conversation is rarer than finding a decent biryani after midnight.
And that’s a problem. Because if you want to reignite the spark, you’ve got to do something radical: open your mouth and talk about it.
But don’t worry—I’ve got your back. Here’s how to navigate that conversation without turning fifty shades of awkward.
Start with the Positives
Before you bring up new ideas or frustrations, remind her why she’s already amazing. Remember that thing she did with her tongue? The one that made your toes curl? Tell her.
Praise goes a long way. Compliments show you appreciate what’s already working—and that makes her more open to hearing what you’d like to explore next.
Pick the Right Moment
Timing is everything. Don’t spring the “let’s talk about our sex life” conversation when she’s knee-deep in laundry or scrolling through reels in Instagram.
Choose a relaxed, distraction-free moment—like when you’re cuddling on the couch or enjoying a quiet evening together. Create a vibe where openness feels natural, not forced.
Ditch the Awkward Formality
This isn’t a quarterly business review. You don’t need PowerPoint slides or an agenda. Keep the tone light and conversational.
Start with something playful, like: “Hey, remember that weekend in Coorg? I think about that a lot.” Or: “I read this wild article about how couples can get even closer—want to hear about it?”. Humour can ease tension and make the conversation feel less like a dreaded chore.
Talk About Feelings, Not Failures
Instead of saying, “We never have sex anymore,” try, “I miss being close to you like we used to be.”
Frame your desires as a wish to connect, not a complaint about what’s lacking. This approach makes her feel wanted, not criticised.
Be Honest About Your Desires
Don’t beat around the bush—literally or figuratively. If there’s something you’re curious about, say so. But do it respectfully.
For example: “I’ve always wondered what it’d be like if we tried [insert fantasy here]. What do you think?”
Be open to her response—whether it’s enthusiastic, hesitant, or a flat-out “no thanks.” The key is creating a safe space where both of you can share without judgment.
Listen—Really Listen
This isn’t just about you spilling your fantasies and calling it a day. Ask her what she wants. Maybe she’s been holding back desires of her own.
And when she speaks, don’t interrupt. Don’t get defensive. Just listen.
Make It Fun
Talking about sex doesn’t have to be all serious and awkward. Share fantasies, laugh about mishaps, or plan a date night where you both promise to try something new.
Make it an adventure—because that’s what good sex should be.
